My hack? Simple: just like tech, hire a pro to get you started. You didn't know C++ without a guide; same goes for fitness.

24 hour fitness is $30/month and this month they're offering a $99 deal for 5 x 25-minute training sessions. (This is the cheapest I've seen anywhere in a long time.)

You really need 10 x 50 min sessions to get started properly, but if you're on a budget these guys can at least show you the right machines, routine, and form to prevent pain and discouragement.