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Comment by adastra22 | Hacker News Reader

If you need therapy with your business partner, cut your losses and move on.

People aren't born with communication skills, if you're going to quit because of interpersonal problems rather than look for a difficult and potentially uncomfortable solution, you shouldn't be starting a business.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/articles/200407/rock-arou...

I would bet this is much more common then you seem to think.

You're not wrong, but not every problem needs to be solved and there are 8 billion people. In my experience it's usually better to align yourself with those you communicate well with, and avoid the ones you don't.

If you think therapy should be reserved for dire, nigh unfixable problems, then maybe. But you can also use therapy as a regular part of life for fixing problems big and small.

It’s a sign of deeper problems if you can’t communicate with your (work) partner well enough to avoid these issues.

Your job isn’t a marriage and the analogy falls flat. If you’re having enough communicative difficulties that you’re considering failure, then you’re already enough in the shit that one or both of you need to move on.

And when your startup encounters business issues, do you just cut your losses and pick the next idea?

Of course not. You work through problems when there's value on the other side of the problem, and communications problems are just one class of problems that may crop up in an otherwise highly valuable relationship. You hire people to help you solve other issues you don't have the experience to solve, don't you? The same SME is valuable in communications.

There will always be business issues. Those you solve. But if you’re spending your time on founder conflicts instead of the business, your business will fail. Even if you work it out in therapy, your competitors will have gotten ahead of you.

It depends. There can be an upside to quitting.

> It’s a sign of deeper problems

That's right - and how do you think you should go about approaching those issues?

By finding a business partner you are compatible with. Don't bring your whole business down in a drawn-out founder conflict. Someone gotta go.

Your job's not a marriage, but there are similar elements to a marriage if you're co-founding with someone. You're building a business together. You need a lot of trust. It's primarily financial.

Hilarious take. Having communication problems? Just quit! Don’t mind the fact that your startup is potentially worth millions, or that you otherwise enjoy your work. /s

That’s easy to say when you don’t have payroll to make and investors to please. Once you get to a point where peoples livelihoods depend on you things change a bit.

Lol /r/relationshipadvice energy

If you need therapy with your partner, cut your losses and move on.

You're thinking in extremes... There are many people who could benefit from therapy, mediated conversation, or dispute resolution.

I read that comment as a sarcastic take on it's parent, not a continuation of the sentiment.

FWIW, I think therapy is awesome and should be embraced by more people. Probably a good thing for founders to have their own version of it. Renowned therapist Esther Perel has (had?) a podcast called How's Work? where she mediated conversations with business partners.

You think it’s not like this but actually it is.

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