I’m very interested in home schooling for this reason but am concerned about two things: both my wife and I work, and social interaction for my son with kids his age. Trying to think about solutions for both of these. Advice?
That's a start, but I'll say that homeschool kids are a bit off, socially. It's not always a bad thing, but it's noticeable. And, a few don't have that problem--I think it's the kids with a lot of interaction, like on sports teams etc. Honestly, a lot of the weirdness of those kids was often that they just seemed very grown up. They interacted a LOT more in 1-on-1 conversations with adults than most kids do. Nearly all of them seemed smart for their age.
Scouts, karate, MTG clubs are some ideas. Honestly, gaming? In our lives I'm sure a lot of social activity will move to some virtual spaces, maybe VR etc.
Anyway, just some thoughts. Good luck!
That's not really a surprising result, is it? Most kids spend all day at school being told not to talk unless called on; plenty even spend most of their day at home like that (at least with the adults in their lives, parents "I'm too busy" and such)...
> Scouts, karate, MTG clubs are some ideas
Yeah, there were definitely a lot of kids in cub and boy scouts who were home schooled when I was growing up. For the religious folks, church and church events had an outsize proportion of homeschool kids as well (I suspect cause and effect goes both ways there). It's likely the homeschool community in your area also coordinates social events (even if it's just going to a park).
Nice anecdote. My experience is the exact opposite. The ~20 home schooled kids I know are the most socially adept kids I've ever met. They aren't shy. They hold nice conversations. They actually like talking to a mix of people.
“Socially adjusted” means behaving like someone who spent twelve years in a public institution. No more or less.
I think highly of the homeschooled kids I’ve known, for the record.
So they do seem very grown up
Described me to a tee.
Any academic gains are not worth the social stunting, especially if the child is already shy.
Happiness in life is rarely based on academic achievements, but rather on the relationships we build. These relationships are built through social skills, and our interactions with our fellow man. Homeschooling severely stunts this at a very vulnerable time in a child’s life.
In at least two of the exceptions, the kids were specifically homeschooled because they were getting picked on in public school for being socially awkward.
Counterfactuals are difficult; I was far more socially awkward than most of the kids in t high school that were homeschooled, and I was in public school from kindergarten.
I think it is true that parents home schooling their kids ought not neglect social and emotional skills any more than they should neglect science or math.
School suppresses kids and forces them to conform. That's probably the thing it does more strongly than anything else. And it does it even more strongly to shy kids.
So you might've missed out on deep friendships, but maybe not. And you almost assuredly missed out on bullying (physical and emotional) and negative, oppressive social pressure during those formative years.
Meanwhile I went to school like everyone else from the ages of 5 to 18 and I still came out at the end with the social intelligence of a potted plant. Sending your kids to school doesn't guarantee they'll turn out normal - if that was true then everybody would be normal.
What helped you with socialization?
I wasn't homeschooled before age 10 or so, so caveat emptor with younger kids.
This is definitely a big one. There are homeschool groups which provide enrichment during normal school hours. The biggest boon for socialising as a homeschooled kid though is after school classes of various kinds (sports, etc). They generally don't happen at school.
Me, singing a few bars of Brave Sir Robin as our D&D party expeditious retreats from an adult red dragon: huh?
1. Make sure your kids are involved in a decent amount of outside activities during the elementary school years that get them interacting with other kids. Things like team sports, music groups, etc.
2. Do NOT home school your kids through high school. I knew other kids who were and thought that they had socialization issues. You could easily argue that this point is mostly anecdotal and I couldn't really disagree, but I have a gut feeling that the high school years are particularly important when it comes to socialization.
For socializing, there's karate class, or other kid sports. Church groups, going to the local park. You know, getting out into the world.
Your approach really depends on the age of the kid. I wasn't homeschooled until I was about 10, so my knowledge of how primary education works is much more limited.
You will definitely want to ensure there are after school activities your kid enjoys that they will be able to continue if you decide to homeschool them. It's important to not rip them out of all of their social circles.
See if there are any local homeschooling groups in your area. I assume you are in the US or Canada, where this is more widespread than in Europe. They will be able to advise you on what's good locally. I'd be careful to ensure that the groups are relatively well-aligned with your vision of what you and your kid want (it's often easier to find religious groups as they are usually more vocal, my assumption is that you are probably looking for a secular one). If you can't find a group that you like, seriously consider before deciding to go it completely alone.
Don't expect magic to happen overnight if you do decide to homeschool the kid. You mustn't push too hard, especially at first. It's a big change. The most important part is to help your kid learn how to learn as a self-driven person.
Give the kid agency. Let them choose what they learn (to a certain extent). You need to secure buy-in to the process. Without that you will just be fighting, and it will suck.
If you're both working full time in an office type job, it's not going to be easy. I did know one or two people who did this, but it's much more common for one or both parents to be either WFH and have a flexible job or for there to be a stay at home parent (sadly this is almost always the mother in my experience, it can be hard for stay at home dads to break into those circles).
If your kid is high school aged: think about how they might be able to go to university if they want to. Local community colleges often have programs that are suitable for dual-credit. I didn't do this but many of my friends did. Look into exams like the SAT/ACT/AP and how you can take them as an independent person. I was able to get into UK universities (I am originally British) with results in those American exams. Many of my friends used their community college credit to transfer into 4 year universities. Talk to other parents and their kids who did go to university about the route they took to get there.
The other fun benefit is that you'll have a much closer relationship with your kid than most other parents do, as you'll spend much more time with them.
If you decide to give it a go, good luck!
I believe she met lots of moms and socialized her kids with activities with them. She also did all kinds of things with her youngest son. For example they were docents at the local aquarium for a few months.
Just to cite one example: music programs. Drama programs. The arts in general. Hard to substitute for these at home.
In addition, more widespread home-schooling serves the right-wing interests that are trying to tear down society in general, and to tear down the public school system in particular, in favor of religious indoctrination and elite schools for the rich. Those interests are dangerous and ascendant enough as it is. They don't need any more help right now.
As far as your second point, I have definitely met a number of people as you describe, but they are significantly outnumbered (at least in my area) by perfectly well adjusted people whose kids just can't make it in school for whatever reason. Not every kid is capable of tolerating 8+ hours a day of institutionalisation, especially if they have some kind of medical issue.
I think the approach that local government takes with homeschoolers in my area (of the US) is too hands off: I never once met someone from my educational service district who might have checked that I was even alive and not just a tax cheat. However, I think that we should be careful not to restrict the ability of people to home-educate if they want to. Its an important backstop if they can't make the school system work for them, and trying to fit every edge case into the school system is a recipe for some seriously unhappy kids.
Mozart was home schooled in music by his father.
And at least in my school district, homeschoolers in the district could participate in extracurriculars like band and drama a la carte.
We were a lot better off when participation in the public schools was much higher. Draining resources from that system cripples it, and only a tiny minority can afford to send their kids to a quality school without it.
“School choice” means vouchers, so that means everybody can afford to send their kids to a private school. That won’t make the kid any smarter, but they’re usually in a better school culture.
Not even close. https://www.texastribune.org/2022/08/18/texas-schools-in-god... https://www.npr.org/2022/06/27/1106290141/supreme-court-high...
Their purpose is to get away from the political indoctrination in public schools. And honestly, considering how much of what's taught in school about our government and society just isn't true... I don't blame 'em.
(To be fair, a lot of them would probably try and get away from religious indoctrination if it weren't Christian.)
> And their support of school choice means elite schools for everybody, instead of just the rich, which is the status quo.
How do you figure that? The well-off are still the only people who will be able to afford the best education, because the reality is the amount of money you spend on education is highly correlated with the success of that education. The only thing it will do for the rest is take those with plenty of money out of the public school's tax base, decreasing the quality of education there even further.