I scanned this, was about to click-onwards, then read -

  "Instant Real-time price negotiation resulting in Instant Gratification for consumer"

I think that is the one line gotcha.. it seems an obvious thing to build a new product around.

So, maybe just lead with that ?

Can it be optimized further... "Realtime price negotiation means Instant Gratification for buyer and seller"

.. keep working it, it'll fly.

gord.