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Comment by xkgt | Hacker News Reader

I came across an interesting take on this in the book Algorithms to live by [1]. They argue that old age is a time of exploitation (as in explore/exploit strategy) where we tend to prioritize relations/experiences that we know to be rewarding. At a younger age, we are more accommodating to explore new experiences. That is why a teenager entering a dorm in a new environment full of strangers can get excited while for old people entering a retirement home it can be a harrowing experience.

1 - https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1627790365

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I think there are maybe other reasons to believe a retirement home may be less fun than a dorm.

One of them is sign of being more capable and more independent. The other is sign of being less capable and in need of more help. One of them is getting ready for future career. Other is getting closer to death.

Mindset probably has a lot to do with it. Knowing you’re at the beginning vs the end.

Most older people that don’t have Alzheimer’s or dementia are quite aware of their mortality.

We will all get there someday, but I certainly have a lot of respect for those older people that are able to handle aging with so much grace.

I think the other commenters here really don't get what you mean or have never been to a retirement home. For people that really don't understand how this is not a good example: retirement homes reek of death. Even if you yourself are still fit, most people there won't be. This means that even though you would have the (mental/physical) capacity to enjoy your time there, you first need to find the few people that have that as well. Compare that to a college dorm, where almost everyone wants to socialize...

It really isn't just about mindset! Sure, that will have something to do with it, but it's really a minor part, and even then, it will be much much much harder to have a positive mindset there then in a college dorm. (Again, I'm not saying it's not possible - I'm really just trying to make people empathize with older people that don't want to go into a retirement home. I think that it's a really reasonable thing not wanting to go there)

That does not explain why old people of the past organized these, young people of the past helped then and participated in these.

I would theorize part of it is boredom and specifically fighting it. When I was very young, there were only a few channels on television. I could read some books, watch tv, play with my toys, but that was about it as far as entertaining myself. Today, I have plenty of things to fight boredom and to socialize without leaving the house, as do my kids.

When you are bored a large percentage of the time, you seek ways to alleviate boredom, such as going to events, hanging out with friends, hosting parties, etc.

I think a lot of people don't realize how boring life was as early as the 1980s for most people. I can't imagine how boring things were prior to that.

Another reason is just the fear people have today, facilitated by the news and politicians. I'm sure it plays some sort of role. There was a lot of fear peddling in the 1980s too.

> while for old people entering a retirement home it can be a harrowing experience

if this example is from the book, I guess I just lost my interest. Totally different scenarios, apart from "living with other people"

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