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Comment by mpalmer | Hacker News Reader

I say it too, but I still don't want my software to create the appearance of commiserating with me.

As a computer professional (I assume), you have a firm understanding of where the text of those messages actually comes from, and that any specific emotional wording can be ignored. Thus, "commiserating" messages feel patronizing.

However, to someone for whom computers are mysterious and capricious black boxes which seem to have been put on this Earth solely to test their patience, "friendly" messages may carry tonal information which you take for granted:

* You did nothing wrong

* This is unintended and regrettable behavior, and we apologize

* Nothing is catastrophically broken

Consider that your mild irritation with a patronizing message is possibly preferable to some poor grandma hurling her computer out the window because "This program has performed an illegal operation and will be shut down."

I worked in tech support for several years; I am fully aware that I am not like most computer users, and that clear, friendly copy makes a difference to non-technical people.

Fortunately, there is infinite space to play in between "Gah"/"Well this is awkward!" and "This program has performed an illegal operation and will be shut down."

Thanks for "moving up a node" to provide a higher-level framing of the situation. This is what I come to HN for. Your other comments are often similarly useful https://news.ycombinator.com/threads?id=dTal&next=32177916

That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me on HN. 9 years of commenting made worthwhile!

Seconded

If users were rated by the quality of their comments, you would be near the top. When I find quality like you provide, I bookmark the comments archive page to review later.

(While I appreciate what you do, hopefully this doesn't encourage you to spend time away from what all else that matters to you to write better comments.)

You did nothing wrong

This is unintended and regrettable behavior, and we apologize

This is what the message should be. Maybe. I'd rather the software I use be apologetic than attempt to be my friend. That said, I'd settle for "we goofed, sorry" So it's not so much the tone (casual), but the content (own your defect, don't commiserate).

Gah! It looks like you broke your tab. We all feel sad when we make mistakes, but that's why pencils have erasers. Hey, it looks like you're writing a letter.

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