I don't have the skills to switch to a different company, tech jobs are limited in my area, I don't perform well remotely, and my wife won't consider relocating. My current shitty job is the best job I can get.
Go and learn. Skills are not set in stone.
> I don't perform well remotely, and my wife won't consider relocating
I understand that. I don't know you, but maybe a nicer setup with more (not too direct) sunlight can make it better?
Sure, but learning takes time, which I have little of. It's also much easier for some than others (getting significantly more difficult as I age).
The main remote issue is that my wife interrupts me to do stuff or answer questions throughout the day. I also feel I'm slower to learn remotely. I think that if I'm an expert in the tech already, then remote could work.
You don't need to spend all day in a class like a university student. An hour a day dedicated to lectures, practice and taking some notes with pencil and paper* can do wonders on the long term.
As for your wife, maybe you can talk to her and ask her to leave you alone for some specific times, unless it's urgent. Or ask her to send you a message instead of talking so it doesn't interrupt your focus so much.
* Some research on learning has proven that taking notes like that is way more effective than typing on a keyboard.
I learned C like ten years ago and then I moved on to PHP and then to JavaScript. I'm sure I forgot most of it. But thanks to that, I'm now learning Golang and when it came to pointers it clicked almost instantly.
Honest question that I know won't be well-received on HN: I don't know your personal details, but do you think there is not anyone else in a lower paid job who has figured out a way to support their family?
Frustration stems from when reality doesn't meet our expectations. You can choose to try and bend reality to your will or change your expectations. One is significantly easier than the other.
Most of my frustration is because my bosses are assholes. I now expect bosses to be assholes, but it's still frustrating.
You are in complete control over your life, but you have to accept that responsibility. Stop blaming externalities and start owning your choices.
No ego, just facts, and your attitude here is crap, your headspace is so negative I’m not at all surprised you’re suffering such as you are.