There are answers (unless their verbalization skills suck), but too many people don’t like to hear them and will argue or fight back.

Btw, one of successful dating advices I remember was to create a detailed realistic image of a partner beforehand and compare/ask about it on a date. No need to make it strict, but this simply makes you aware of what you want (or not) in a relaxed state instead of allowing your sub to decide under pressure or effect of the moment. Sounds reasonable and pretty sure if true then that applies to jobs as well.