But if you have a problem, those things magically disappear when you are trying to solve it. No one remembers that sexual harassment lawsuit against the fire department when their house catches on fire - they just call 911.
I honestly don't care what tech bros overall think about marketing. People are still picking up the phone and asking for help.
As OP said clearly: a lot of the issues people have with "marketing" are actually issues with "advertising". I wholly agree (as someone who actively avoids ads).
There are marketers who believe their only tool is advertising. There are also technologists who believe that ads are all marketing is. Both of these groups are leaving opportunities on the table. That isn't anyone's fault, it just means these people are missing their chances.
I come across a lot of crappy software. I come across a lot of crappy ads. I paint neither the software engineering nor marketing disciplines wholly negatively.