In any social setting, pecking order and stuff like that matters a whole lot to most people (and is very frequently the driving force behind a lot of the comments, even here). I try to treat everyone with respect regardless of who they are and I am disinclined to kowtow to anyone. I assure you it gets me in hot water on a routine basis with people who are trying to impose a hierarchy on the relationship and trying desperately to make sure they are in the superior position. Refusal to take the inferior position gets read by such people as an attempt to assert my superiority (and oppress them/disrespect them). It is damn difficult to convey equality to people hellbent on doing something like that. {Which makes me curious why you seem to experience it differently. :-)}