Whether that state was totally nice or democratic or "Chinese" or whatever value you cherish, is besides the point. It does not legitimize any of what GB did during either Opium War, and therefore I disagree that it's "important to stress".
A good response to that would be, "yeah, but it was for the Chinese to make their minds up about that, not the British!"
And a good response to that might be: "when you say the Chinese made their minds up, are you talking about a democratic process?"
It was the early 19th century. You could count the number of democratic countries on one hand. (If you counted countries where only men could vote)
Tens of millions of Chinese died during the Manchu invasion of China. The Qing forced every Han Chinese male to shave their forehead and wear a queue on the threat of death, but that's apparently not humiliating.
When the Mongols and Manchu conquered the Chinese "Crown" it was more of a change of dynasty and they they effectively became Chinese. Mongolia was part of the Chinese empire until its fall in 1912, for instance.
But in England and the West in general, China found an adversary that could defeat them militarily, and which had no interest in adopting their culture or civilization. Quite the contrary, the new foreign invaders were disrepectful of Chinese culture in a way that was new and shocking.
Quotes from the PDF "What is at issue is not the magnitude of Qing achievement, but Ho's statement that "the key to its [Qing] success was the adoption by early Manchu rulers of a policy of systematic sinicization". The new scholarship suggests just the opposite: the key to Qing success, at least in terms of empire-building, lay in its ability to use its cultural links with the non-Han peoples of Inner Asia and to differentiate the administration of the non-Han regions from the administration of the former Ming provinces."
""Sinicization" -- the thesis that all of the non-Han peoples who have entered the Chinese realm have eventually been assimilated into Chinese culture -- is a twentieth century Han nationalist interpretation of China's past."