First of all, nowadays you should be using Lightning Network, where fees are negligible and the payment is finalized and settled in order of seconds. BtcPay server has first class integration of Lightning Network.

And second, even if you want to accept onchain payments, current onchain fees are something $0.2 for confirmation within an hour. Which seems reasonable for having final settlement without any intermediary of your funds this fast. Compare this with traditional payment options like credit cards where you are waiting often times 30 days or even more for settlement and as the OP illustrates, you are at mercy of intermediaries.

BTC fees are basically fuck all these days, and you can just use LN.