Hacker News Reader

she doesn't have to share the hobbies, but at least be supportive and encouraging. similar about work. but it goes both ways in my eyes. i should be able to be supportive of my wifes interests, and she should be supportive of mine. the interests don't need to be the same, but they should not conflict either.

View on HN

The signal must be costly otherwise it is not a signal.

if you truly love someone then you care about their happiness, and that includes caring about their interests. you should naturally want to support their interests because you want to make them happy.

That’s why it’s a hack. It’s unreasonably effective. Waiting for true love is how people end up alone.

true love is the goal that you want to develop with your current partner. you do it by caring about them and their interests, and getting them to care about yours.

the point is: don't just pretend to be interested. but try to honestly care. if you honestly love this person, you should be able to. pretending may help to get you started, but if you have to keep pretending, you may end up unhappy. better find something else to love about your partner.

If you don’t want to use a hack to get something you want then don’t.

if i love my partner, i don't need to hack it, i just need to extend that love to everything about them.

Reply on news.ycombinator.com