Once you get married and have a family, it's basically just grinding away at work, with chores, etc. Stuff that just has to get done, or the consequences are catastrophic (divorce, medical bill bankruptcy, losing the house, etc).
Certainly you have more choices/options if you have more money, right?
Don't apply if you don't have money, and this has nothing to do with a pre-nup which you should also do.
The irony, for those about to have a kneejerk reaction about merely considering the financial realities of marriage instead of solely the love partnership part, is that this kind of pre-planning actually allows you to focus on the love part. You don't have to be skeptical or worried about any partner or anecdotes because you have it all figured out.
That's my basic opinion. My wife and her family had a fit when I suggested a prenup, even though it mostly followed the general guidelines in law with the removal of alimony. It was crying and "you don't know what you're doing" with not a logical argument in sight. I just wanted a calm, rational conversation. Instead I feel like I was emotionally bullied and manipulated. If only I realized it then.
Proponents say “one person does more unpaid labor to support the breadwinner and the lifestyle they were both beneificiaries of”, but why does seemingly nobody create a market value of that unpaid labor (feel free to correct me if I’m wrong). People act like this unpaid labor is the same value at any amount of money that the lifestyle costs, when that’s not true.
“You did the dishes most often according to these angry text messages, and also got to travel to Tuscany in luxury, so here is $800,000 for 10 years and if your ex has any disruption in income then they have to check themselves into jail, if they make more we can modify that amount upwards and assume their income never goes down”
I would like alimony capped at the state level in both amount and time based on what the value of supportive household/emotional labor is.
Monaco’s alimony law is a decent rubric.
“You did the dishes most often according to these angry text messages, and also got to travel to Tuscany in luxury, so here is $800,000 for 10 years and if your ex has any disruption in income then they have to check themselves into jail, if they make more we can modify that amount upwards and assume their income never goes down”
If anyone thinks this is joking, my wife's father was in an accident and then a coma. Lost his job and obviously wasnt making money in a coma. Apparently the child support payments emptied his account. He was arrested for not paying. He then couldn't find any decent job with the arrest record.
Great rebuttal I wonder if this has been successfully argued by a breadwinner in calculating alimony payment amounts or alimony reform
Too bad all of this is stuck in family courts at the municipal level and not publicly indexed, the information is fragmented
Having separate accounts? What would you suggest
Then there's the fact that you need concensus for things. Like can we move to another area? No, wife doesn't want to ever leave the county. Should buy an unaffordable house? No, that's financial suicide. Wife wants another kid, but also complains that I don't do enough (not going into it, but she's way off base). I don't want another kid due to all that I have to do for the current one and her (she needs help with many things).
In theory, we could each pretty much decide these things unilaterally. In practice, that's likely to result in divorce even if we have more money.
It's basically not, that's just a summary of your experience.
Want to hang out with your friends? Good luck on agreeing on a place to rent that's in budget for all of you if you have £1m+ in the bank.
Want to treat your wife? Good luck she is already accustomed to nice meals. It's unlikely you'll surprise her with something special.
Kids birthday? Good fucking luck. He's got the latest of everything.
And so it goes...
What? Is the wealthier person in this scenario too much of a snob to stay in cheaper accommodations that everyone can afford, or pay a little more than their "fair share" to help book nicer ones that everyone can enjoy?
I would not want to be friends with that person.
> Want to hang out with your friends? Good luck on agreeing on a place to rent that's in budget for all of you if you have £1m+ in the bank.
If i had the luck to have £1m+ in the bank and if I wanted to hang out with my friend, i would happily let them pay what they can afford and pay for the remaining.
> Want to treat your wife? Good luck she is already accustomed to nice meals. It's unlikely you'll surprise her with something special.
My wife don't need nice meals to be happy, just some time together is enough.
> Kids birthday? Good fucking luck. He's got the latest of everything.
It's not because you are rich that you have to buy your kids anything they want. You can have positive experience with your kids everyday without buying anything.
Sorry if i sound harsh but it's really strange reading this when you DON'T have 1m+ in bank. And I'm not especially poor.
My time is mine. I will keep using it however i can and see fit. Should that create unexpected results in this universe, i hope they were fun or helpful ones.