I don't know if my own anecdote will help you but I've been overweight since I was a child and I've done just about every diet under the moon. I used to hate myself and my body, a lot. I went to the gym three days a days week pushing myself hard and counted calories, and my weight wouldn't budge. I ended up developing a lot of disordered eating doing fasting and I really thought I could hate myself into being thin. When I finally found keto and it worked, I started dropping weight and I quickly lost control of my diet and started to starve myself in earnest while continuing what exercise I could. After a while all I could do was take long walks. I lost 80 pounds in 8 months doing this, and I was still considered over weight by about 60 pounds. I never got any happier with myself by changing my body. I still didn't think I was worth anything unless I could get tiny. I had really bad brain fog, I stopped being able to produce my own body heat, started to have fainting spells, and finally heart palpitations. When I went to the doctor all they told me is what a good job I was doing losing weight and that the palpitations were from my panic disorder. I finally stopped keto because my partner sat me down and begged me to stop. It was really hard and it took time to give it up, but I finally did. I had no real muscle left and I was so fatigued... Over the course of a year... I gained all the weight back. I still have palpitations sometimes, and I will never know what damage yoyo dieting for years did to me.

I don't diet anymore, I've started intuitive eating and my diet has improved over all. I eat variety now, more vegetables and lots of protein. I also have carbs, and dessert with I want it. I've also started doing things for the experience rather than to make my body look a certain and ultimately unattainable way. I don't focus on how I look anymore, I focus on being strong. I am now highly active and doing activities I never thought I would be capable of in my fat body. I take dance classes four times a week, I lift weights, and I am starting Lyra and aerial classes. I also don't step on scales anymore. But I can tell you I haven't magically shrunk. I guess what I'm trying to say is... Any standard of "in shape" can be impossible for any person. We aren't all meant to look that same and I think that people are caring less about being overweight because it should never have been a limiting factor to you enjoying your life, being active, and being well loved by the right people.