> if you pick someplace close to your job, you have to drive far less than "20 miles, 40 minutes."
I’d make a good wager that “living their lives”, did not mean going to work. It’s going to the park or the “nice, bustling area” of town a.k.a. the walkable area like the farmers market.
> but those businesses just wouldn't be viable at the density I also want to live in.
The density you want to live in doesn’t sound like it promotes social interactions, drives economic inequality, and takes money from the community.
Also in Texas, California, and Seattle this is a real thing for white collar work. This is a very real thing for blue collar work in almost any state.