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Comment by flakyfilibuster | Hacker News Reader

The negativity is totally warranted: OPs misguided believe in thinking that simply finding a new job will get rid of all his woes is worrisome. Furthermore the fact that a high percentage of commentators are encouraging his stance is counterproductive.

This is simplifying a complex situation, which OP should definitely seek professional guidance for before he finds himself in the same situation 5 months from now...

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You seem to know something I don't. What is the evidence of a misguided belief? OP was skeptical this change would make a difference, but shares that it did. I did not see any forward-looking statements implying the new job "will get rid of all his woes", only what they are experiencing now. Elsewhere on the thread, OP shared that they are using this opportunity to work more intentionally on their relationship with their wife, which doesn't sound like the kind of thing someone who thinks all their problems have been magically fixed would do.

> OP should definitely seek professional guidance

You speak with the certainty of a professional (more, in fact, since a professional would know how little they know about the situation). Are you one? Do you have any reason to believe OP _hasn't_ sought professional guidance?

If you have something to share about _why_ talking with a professional would be worthwhile, or how to find the right one, or what kind of professional to look for, or something else that OP would plausibly think to themselves, "wow thanks, this is really useful" – that would be kind to share. Personal/secondhand anecdotes often work (as distasteful as some find it), as do peer-reviewed evidence etc.

I've seen this pattern so many times in life it isn't even funny. An acquaintance hated her job and had to leave to be happy. Now she is on her 3rd job in 1.5 years and already thinking about leaving again. Somehow the next job will be perfect and will finally make her happy.

Pointing the obvious is seen as rude, negative or plain toxic, as some do here. Even just dropping hints is received with hostility. Honestly I've experienced no upside and only downside from trying to help people in such situations.

Perhaps you're an idiot that keeps giving unwarranted advice and just wasting your time trying to help people that in the end will hate you for it?

Note, I am doing exactly what you were talking about, but with you.

I too, give blunt unwarranted advice, and don't give a single fuck if people hate me for it because their emotions cloud their judgement. I like to believe others that will read the advice from a 3rd party perspective, and if even a single person gets helped, it's ultimately worth it.

Calling someone an "idiot" isn't being blunt – it's just being an asshole.

signed, an asshole who frequently calls people idiots (generally not to their face, though)

What is he misguided about, and what is the complexity he is simplifying. I ask out of genuine intrigue. Reading the post it comes across as someone who appeared to need to make a change in his life, unsure of what to change. He took a chance on a new role and has found himself happier for it.

OP is mistaking positive feelings (short term, extrinsic) with wellbeing (long term, intrinsic). Their excitement probably allows them to neglect any underlying problems. When the excitement wears off, issues that haven't been addressed are likely to reappear. All of this is purely speculation of course, based on my reading of the post.

Wouldn't "a rewarding career" qualify as long-term, intrinsic wellbeing? Cynics may believe no such thing exists, but I don't think it's a universal view.

Of course, there's always risk that the job changes and becomes worse. In a Series D company, we know that could happen at any time.

OP probably knows this too :)

> Wouldn't "a rewarding career" qualify as long-term, intrinsic wellbeing?

Depends on what one understand by “rewarding”. If it's compensation, title, status, achievements, etc., these are extrinsic factors. Regardless, I don't see any evidence for a rewarding career in the OP.

I've generally heard "rewarding" in this context used to mean "satisfying and/or meaningful" – e.g, a teacher who loves their job and is able to see their students learn and grow happily would be said to have a rewarding job.

For OP, it sounds like an intrinsically rewarding job would be one that involves autonomy, decision-making, a sense of impact - which it sounds like they now have.

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