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That is standard for vertical speed everywhere

That's funny for someone with aero-glide2 as user name. I'm used to metric variometers in gliders.

And yet, excepting two countries (IIRC), altitude is normally in feet for ATC. Which means instruments are in feet.

Not in the countries you refer to, and not in gliders in many European countries. Not 'everywhere' then.

So if both wings break off, I need to do unit conversion to calculate my remaining lifespan? Jesus Christ, what a horror show.