To be honest -- and this says plenty about the industry, but, yes, me as well -- I got a job at a large tech company by sleeping with the right engineer at Burning Man, got the referral, and then did well in the interviews and H1B lottery. #LeanIn.

In truth, industry referrals are themselves a part of the compensation package, as they give (generally male) more-senior engineers social leverage over anyone who wants a piece of the pie.

I played the game but I hate the game.

All the same, doing so tripled my income and moved to the USA.

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Postscriptum:

My recommendation to industry: abolish the referral system. It's shockingly close to the recruitment pattern used in MLM schemes -- in this case, my contact got a bonus from "helping" with my recruitment.

Imagine if surgeons were hired like this.