From the broken first attempt: Each face has 3 vertices, shared between 6 faces, so the total number of vertices is 65536, and they become faces of my die.
This should have tipped you off. If you have six triangular faces around every vertex, you have a flat Euclidean plane, not a sphere with positive curvature.
For another example of this: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=jfSTwqmrQDc