Also, you mention not having motivation to work on personal tech projects, and I can relate to that. I don't have a good answer except that you don't have to do any of those projects now, and it's probably better for you to find a non-tech related hobby like cooking. You'll use a different part of your brain, while also creating something and solving the occasional problem.
Also, and I say this to most people who are struggling with work, but therapy is a great outlet to help you explore the pressures of work and strategies to deal with them. When I worked at a start-up, half the reason I was in therapy was to have a neutral outlet for venting my work frustrations that wasn't my significant other. It's not for everyone, but I highly recommend giving it a shot, especially if you have insurance since there's no real downsize except for the hour or so the session takes (especially now that a lot of therapists are doing virtual visits).