There's an endless stream of monad tutorials and I think they (almost) all misunderstand the point of confusion. No one gives a f*** about monads, they care about state.

If you've internalized reasoning about a program's execution symbolically and in a time-independent way, then monads solve the problem of how you enforce a correct sequencing of otherwise time-independent operations at a library level without any fancy modifications to the type system. And oh by the way, this structure shows up everywhere and isn't that pretty cool. People who hang around in the formal PL world tend to assume this already because it emerges naturally from how we talk about the semantics of languages via symbolic manipulation.

But if you haven't grasped that yet, then monads solve a problem that you probably don't even realize exists and no amount of rephrasing the monad laws will help you.

I'd almost always recommend anyone new to Haskell ignore monads as much as possible. Fiddle around with evaluating toy functions with pen and paper symbolically to reason about the semantics, and then try to imagine how you could represent the state of a program changing across the page by creating a new object representing the state of the program from the old state. Then, dig in to the RealWorld type and how the IO Monad actually works (not at a type level).