Not great. Probably a better day than others given I had sex for the first time since I got divorced. Admittedly - it was not with someone I expected or had a strong desire for. I just seemed to follow through as to avoid an even longer dry spell and gather more data on what some women think about me. Not really surprising but women who will have sex with you tend to think highly of you. Fortunately - I also tend to be an underpromise and overdeliver personality… so expectations are usually never that high.

Since my divorce, things have been rough. They were rough before but at least I had a partner. I don’t have kids and am in my early 30’s but the separation and lack of support network has been really evident the last year. Desiring kids and seeing no hope for that happening has been quite difficult to live with.

I’ve decided to quit my job/hope I get fired (severance), live off a meager amount of savings (failed IPO has basically taken any savings I had built up and invested into stock options), and solo travel in Europe for 2-3 months or whatever I can withstand emotionally/financially. I’ll be going to events and meeting people that participate in a mutual hobby. It’s not going to be great timing because it will be insufferably hot but I have no choice here. I have to change things and keep iterating. I’m looking at leaving SV after being here for 7 years and moving to NYC - not because I like nyc or will enjoy it more but simply because dating as a straight man in SV is one of the hardest places in the world. There are 50% more single men than women in Santa Clara County between 25-34. The ratio isn’t much better in SF (especially when you consider many men commute into the city). It’s just too difficult and it’s hard to differentiate from the crowd - plus lots of women have trauma/stigma built into the persona that they’ll hammer onto me (even if I am wildly different).

So, yeah, shit sucks but I’m doing what I’ve always done - trying extremely hard, changing strategies, and pushing forward as always.