This. I don’t want to know there’s a nodule and then hear “but it could be nothing. Don’t worry about it.”
Because then suddenly, I’ll become hyper aware of every potentially significant symptom and have to resist the urge to constantly google and check if there’s a chance it might indicate something. Is that pimple a pimple? Hey, I don’t remember my neck feeling this lumpy. Boy, I sure do seem to have sinus issues a lot. Are these joint aches normal? Etc, etc, etc.
As a kid, I felt absolutely invulnerable to worrying about my health. The first time I experienced true health anxiety is when my doctor pointed out a mole on my back and said “do you want to check this mole for cancer?” to which I replied, “oh, I guess so?”… only he didn’t. Because he checked with insurance, and insurance came back negative on it.
I am still in my 20s. I’m not in the best health, but my everyday life is pretty uninhibited by health issues. I don’t wake up with coldsweats. So yeah, it could happen to me, but frankly it’s worth being skeptical at my age.
But when the doctor pointed out that mole, they shattered the mental barrier I had between myself and cancer patients. I knew mentally that of course it could happen to me, but I had absolutely no idea that the signs of it could literally be hiding on my back, and I would be none the wiser. I googled and I learned a whole lot, and my intuitions were very wrong. In fact, I had many symptoms that can indicate various cancers. I heard stories about pimples that were not pimples, back pain that was not back pain, etc. people living normal lives who just went in for a checkup and suddenly faced certain death.
I’ve mostly snapped out of the hypochondria mindset, but still today I wonder about some symptoms in a way I never would’ve before. My life is altered by this one thing a doctor said off hand.
And for what it’s worth, I’m not saying he should not have done that. Insurance should’ve covered the biopsy just in case. I’ve outright noticed that sometimes, doctors will slightly edit your responses to things to get insurance to OK a diagnostic, and I think it’s in some part because they know that if you don’t get that peace of mind it could be damaging. Being hyper aware of your heart beat or super concerned about sleep apnea is not as bad as suffering from actual disease, but it’s certainly it’s own kind of hell.
It’s weird to me because much like cancer patients, I viewed myself as separate from hypochondriacs and immune to it as a whole. A lesson learned the hard way, and now I feel a twinge every time I see a new headline about cancer or hypochondria.