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Comment by bbb | Hacker News Reader

Statements like the above always frustrate me.

I'm in school (and have been for a long time). Many people that I respect told me: grad school was the best part in their lives, that I should enjoy my time, and that it only goes downhill afterwards (no more research, family obligations, boring jobs, administration work, etc.).

Great. But what if I don't like my situation right now? What if I don't like grad school that much? What if I don't like most of the people around me? If the sentiment that grad school is the best part of life is correct, then what else is there to look forward to? What's the point?

(sorry for being all gloomy, but the parent's post really struck a nerve)

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Yeah I know. People used to say high school was the best part of life and my take was if that was the case, then my life truly sucked :-(

Know what though? It wasn't. Neither was college. I truly started to enjoy life after being in the workforce for a few years and realizing that I was unhappy and needed to change my life. In my case change meant taking a new job 1,000 miles away in a place where I knew no-one (could make a totally clean restart), meeting a fantastic bohemian female friend who encouraged me to go out and meet other women and report back (nothing better than a woman who helps you meet other women :-), and who helped me discover the person I truly am.

My life may not be perfect, but I have learned that only I control my happiness and that making excuses for unhappiness is a waste of the short time we have on this planet.

+1 for doing what a lot of people are too afraid to do

Then it's your fault. Who's responsibility is it to put you in the situation where you are happy?

People stuck in a job they don't like because it pays enough to support there family have a reason to complain. You have no obligations but to yourself. If you think that you have obligations and try to use that as an excuse for why you are unhappy you are fooling yourself.

Find a different program, find a new hobby, meet a girl, start a company.

Being gloomy and getting angry that others are happy won't make you happy.

For many cheerleaders high school is the high point in their lives. Popularity, likeminded people everywhere and absolutely zero responsibilities.

So unless you're very similar to the person who tells you that grad school was the best part of his life, take it with a grain of salt. Maybe you like being responsible, maybe you like to work.

The thing is, many people give up on their dreams just after grad school. Compromise suddenly trumps all.

(And maybe you're just chronically unhappy person. Unhappy no matter what happens. Unhappy for no describable reason. Food for thought, huh?)

<Anecdotal evidence> Don't they have research where they track 2 sets of people before and after a traumatic event. One set goes through an extremely negative event (like paralyzed, etc) and one set wins the lottery or something similar. They find that the people, once they returned to steady state after the event, were about as happy as before, independent of their event (positive or negative). I kinda think that people make their situation into the way they are, and its independent of the situation. </anecdotal evidence>

Check out the work by Daniel Kahneman -- I believe he performed or referenced the study you mention. http://www.abc.net.au/rn/allinthemind/stories/2003/923773.ht...

What people usually mean when they say this is simply that college is a fantastic experience - not that it's going to be the only one in your life.

The combination of being young, unencumbered and part of a huge community of people who are looking to have fun means that it really is easy to have a fantastic time. If you aren't enjoying yourself, it's more than likely because you simply aren't making full use of what's available to you.

Obviously not everyone likes to get out and network, but most people do (geeks included) and so for them college can be a great experience.

Basically, "enjoying life" is entirely something you choose to do. If you aren't taking the steps to make college really fun for yourself, then it probably wont be the high-point of your life. Presumably you'll discover a happy lifestyle somewhere further down the line and enjoy that instead.

You sound really frustrated. Life is too short. If you hate grad school that much, drop it. Life certainly isn't downhill after school. My personal experience showed that the most interesting people I met, I met at school, not in cubicle land. Then again, it's what you make of it.

Where you go to grad school (or undergrad) has a LOT to do with it. And some luck as well - Your dept might not have anybody you want to be friends with. But two years down the road might change everything.

That said, for me, I've met the most people at school mostly because I find myself surrounded by people who I can identify with. Its easy to make friends in a group of people who are like you, but if you don't feel like you fit in a group of grad students, its hard to make friends...

At any point in life, whatever someone did ten-twenty years ago was the best part of their life.

Totally agree.

Coincidentally, I'm in school and many people have told me the same thing.

To be honest, I don't "enjoy" anything about it. This only makes me wonder if college is supposed to be the "best part of your life", (and its quite the opposite for me); then the the rest of my life should be pretty darn depressing.

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