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I feel like nowadays that joke has evolved to devs that use JSON vs devs that use binary serialisation (like capnproto or whatever else)…

Not that much of a joke, a lot of companies are using binary protocols for internal services e.g. gRPC, and REST for external. So, best/worst of both worlds (depending on whether you are a glass half full/half empty person)

Why not both? There's a binary serialization format for XML... (https://www.w3.org/TR/exi/)

The examples given in the article assume for the sake of argument that the only software is enterprise software. So xml all around.

And Java vs just about anything else (!)

Plenty of front line software at big tech companies like Google is written in Java.

Yeah there's a lot of Java hate but faang companies definitely use it more than ocaml, lisp or what have you.