I keep hearing this reference on how most (80%?) of women compete for the 20% of men, it just doesn’t make sense to me. It can only be true in a narrow sense… i.e. on a specific dating app 20% of men get messaged by 80% of women (that’s where the figure comes from IIRC?).

But looking at the larger picture of how relationships are formed, there is no way for it to work this way. And if it were true, it would be just as bad for women—as most of them would stay single! These 20% of men might have an easier time on the apps, and casual hookups might be simpler, but they can’t be in relationships with 80% of women. And a committed partnership of two people keeps being the long term vision for most in the dating game.

And people still have relationships. From the US numbers I could find, the bracket with the most singles is males 18-29, at 51%, which is a lot, but not exactly ‘close to doom’.

https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2020/08/20/a-profi...

EDT: This 80/20 figure initially came from an OKCupid study, and it’s about perceived attractiveness. In this study, 80% of men are perceived as of less than average attractiveness. However, that did not necessarily stop them from getting messaged. https://archive.ph/ZJymw#selection-600.0-633.275