Interesting take. In all seriousness, is there a way to integrate other languages with this pipeline or with this level of simplicity i wonder?

Eg, i prefer my language of choice. However i am personally focused on self hosting, so being "just as easy as PHP" seems useful.

I tend to ship self contained binaries that can run on your computer without configuration. While that would work on a web host it's not going to restart automatically or have any integration with old school PHP focused providers. Has anyone heard of a PHP bridge for this sort of thing? Perhaps I make a version of this app that works under CGI (or w/e)? But then you still have to know "Do i want the binary? Or the CGI? What the hell is CGI anyway?" etc.