I reread the letter, but I'm still not seeing the veiled threat here. Would you be able to spell out where/what it is?
Implies that they won't be able to see each other unless the host allows the guest to stay with them. Of course, this only works as a threat if the guest assumes the host wants their company in the first place. I don't find it to be a threat because the guest would only be withholding something the host doesn't want in the first place. That said, changing one word makes a big difference:
"I hope this works out /and/ we can see each other!"
This way seeing each other is disconnected from the hosting.
FWIW I don't find the request rude in the first place. The asker doesn't know she's making the request of someone who doesn't like her. Jeff seems offended that the woman mentioned his name ("I don't even know this woman.") But to me, that's just being polite as opposed to leaving him out entirely or referring to him generally (i.e. "you and your husband").
"I hope this works out /so/ we can see each other!"
It's not physically threatening, but this makes a strong implication that the relationship will be potentially damaged by refusing to comply with the request. Consider this alternative, "I hope this works out. It would be great to catch up either way!" This makes it clear that the relationship will not be harmed if this doesn't work out.
Yes, I am reading into things, and I was raised as a Guesser but consider myself bilingual. IMO being an Asker is fine, but if you hold the relationship hostage, it's Demanding, not Asking.
That is to say, I interpret this:
"I hope this works out so we can see each other!"
As this:
"I hope this works out because I would like to see you and by living under the same roof for a short time we will be able to see each other!"
I have to say, though, that this might be dependent on my relationship with the person. If I like them, I'm more likely to have the generous interpretation of this phrase.
Context is I’ve seen enough bad behavior online that I believe it is our responsibility to choose our words with intention.