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Comment by nosefrog | Hacker News Reader

As a 5'5" guy, no one ever calls me short, and when I joke about being short my friends tell me that they don't perceive me as short unless I'm joking about it, so I stopped haha.

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Exactly. I'm same height as guy in the article and no one has ever commented on my height at work (or, pretty much anywhere else). I think Scott had lots of other issues going on, but blames his height.

Of course I would have liked to have been 6' and looked more like a "commanding leader" when I march into a room. Maybe it would have given me a career boost... but I could also get that from hitting the gym and bulking up, or buying better-fitted clothes, or (heaven forbid) put more effort into my job and actually become a more commanding leader!

I’m inclined to think the issue is not him but the people he surrounds himself with. I'm vaguely aware of toxic content about short men on social media but don't think I've ever encountered it directly- I use Tiktok frequently but never see this kind of stuff, it's generally positive content and things related to my hobbies because that's what I interact with. Why on earth is this woman he quotes saying toxic shit about short men "one of his favorite influencers?"

>I could also get that from hitting the gym and bulking up, or buying better-fitted clothes, or (heaven forbid) put more effort into my job!

And what if you have done all that and are still mocked for your height?

I guess I'd say then he's just living amongst very, very shitty people. I don't know the right solution in that case.

My point is only that when height is a barrier, there are almost certainly other things that can be improved, with some effort.

(or, buy lifts, which is zero effort and effective for an inch or 1.5" boost)

Find a better community. If people are mocking you (especially for things outside your control, but also generally), you oughtn't be around them. I've left social groups and "friends" behind for lesser things than mocking people over height.

You are blessed to be surrounded by a great group of friends!

I have a friend who is short as well, probably 5'5" and he married a girl who is taller than him when she wears her heels. Neither of them care, which is great and I love both of them.

I have another friend who is around the same height or shorter and can't get past how short he is. I keep trying to help him find a girlfriend, but he resists all efforts and I think he's still a virgin at age 45. So the stigma is very real and can be extremely damaging.

I'm 159cm/5'2.6" and people quite often mistake me for a woman.

In school people did call me short but in time I learned to ignore it and to just not hear it. Because there's really nothing that I can or even should do about it.

> and people quite often mistake me for a woman.

Do you have really long hair? This could be why

I had both long and short, I would usually let my hair grow and then shave to 0 and then again let it grow.

I suspect to, to an extent, it's a self-fulfilling issue: once you're sensitive to an issue, you listen out for examples, and then of course pay special attention to the ones you do hear.

I don't remember hearing people refer negatively to baldness... until I started losing my hair and it became (marginally) personal to me.

It is 100% self-fulfilling. Worrying about height is like a thought-virus, once you encounter it, it infects you, but you can do just fine until you come across it. Then the challenge is learning to not give a fuck. Such is the pattern of every insecurity since time immemorial.

As a 5'7" guy (which I've come to learn is statistically shorter in the U.S.), this was also the case for me. In my 30-something years on Earth, I never viewed myself as "short" at all. No one said I was short. I felt my height was average and had confidence in myself.

This all changed when my older brother-in-law voiced concerns about my height to my now-wife, saying I was too short for her.

Now, after 5 incredible years of being together, this mind virus has infected us, and we started seeing me as short, or otherwise "deficient". It's truly terrible. Thankfully I'm still incredibly confident, which is what made me attractive to my wife in the first place.

Sucks having family throw doubts into your wife's mind based on your height.

This has been my experience as well. Actually the only ones who have ever commented on height in general were women.

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