Hacker News Reader

Comment by samh748 | Hacker News Reader

Thanks for the response but I really don't appreciate the patronizing. I criticize and dismiss myself enough as it is. I'm all for constructive feedback, but this ain't it.

You obviously don't understand a thing about neurodiversity. Not everyone can control their brain to "Stop" doing or thinking all these things.

No, it's not because we can't take harsh criticism, not because we're "making excuses", not because we're staying comfortable in our "victimhood".

We've obviously tried all the things you've suggested (and more). The problem is our brain can't do whatever we want it to do.

And by the way, I absolutely LOVE reading and writing, and guess what? The more I love something, the less I'm able to do it. That's the kind of paradox our brain is constantly fighting.

View on HN

> You obviously don't understand a thing about neurodiversity. Not everyone can control their brain to "Stop" doing or thinking all these things.

That's an assumption on your part. I understand this very well, I'm probably just much older than you.

I say this with an absolutely sincere motive: You cannot make most people care about your ADHD. What you can do is live with that set of symptoms and navigate it, figure out a way forward, adapt life to those circumstances (for example, the podcasts a mentioned are a strategy for me in particular: They make certain the dishes get done after all). For a lot of people medication helps (if a professional agrees), I personally have never tried for various reasons, and because I found other ways to address my specific symptoms.

> No, it's not because we can't take harsh criticism, not because we're "making excuses", not because we're staying comfortable in our "victimhood".

I have said none of those things, nor implied them.

The strategies I've offered don't even make sense if I thought you'd "make excuses".

> We've obviously tried all the things you've suggested (and more). The problem is our brain can't do whatever we want it to do.

Who exactly is "we" here?

And what kind of answer are you looking for, then?

Obviously I don't know you at all, and have no animosity whatsoever against you. Everything I said was offered as advice, and written from my perspective to explain what helped for me, in the hope that there is maybe enough overlap that it can also help you.

As for being patronizing and criticizing, you are probably mostly referring to my last part. I stand by what I've written: "You have to be productive in your free time" is a mindset that I find irritating, contra-productive, and harmful to perpetrate. I am allowed to criticize this in a public forum as long as I don't get personal. I aimed at attacking this particular statement, not your character (and absolutely nothing in what you've written gave me any reason to do so).

Sorry I lashed out.

The problem is that certain mindsets are not chosen, but engrained and hard to erase. You can't assume we can simply "Stop" our destructive mindsets.

Also, "I just want to sit down and read my books and write my essays but I can't" was the most vulnerable part of my post. You can't just tell me I don't - what the hell?

Reply on news.ycombinator.com