But formalizing proofs with computers is essentially separate from the rigorous study of the foundations of math (consistency, relative strength of theories, etc.).
You've complained above about set theorists not learning "your stuff," and now it's my turn to complain. You write: 'Risk Assessment: depends how many "large cardinal" type things we want (unlike the 1970s category theorists I personally don't really care).' Large cardinal axioms are essential to the study of the relative consistency strength of mathematical theories. You personally might not care about them, but accommodating them is not a negotiable detail for anything that purports to be useful in the study of foundations.
And yeah, I'm aware the HoTT people have ways around this, fine. My comment is more about the perspective conveyed by your remarks: if you want to have a seat at the table in a discussion about foundational issues, you need to understand basic facts like this. My suspicion is that you might have had bad interactions with set theorists because you don't share certain knowledge they take for granted, and then they get frustrated and end the conversation early. I truly believe that if you went and read a book on set theory and logic, and learned, e.g., wny large cardinals are important, you might understand better where I and other people are coming from.