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Comment by Baeocystin | Hacker News Reader

I have hobbies that I don't talk about with anyone else. Not because I wouldn't admit to any of them if asked, but, well... They're my hobbies. For me. I don't particularly want to know or care to hear what other people think about them, because I want something in my life I can enjoy just because I want to.

I think it's a pretty natural response, honestly. Not everything has to be, or even should be, up for social grabs. It's OK to have a personal, private life.

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I think that's also very true, that no one should feel forced to reveal something about themselves.It's one of the reasons I don't like the well intentioned 'pro-noun' movement, I feel it may out those who don't want to be outed.

To clarify my previous post, I was referring to those who are suppressed by others from expressing something about themselves that they would otherwise share.

>I feel it may out those who don't want to be outed.

Not to get too off-track, but one of my close friends is directly affected by this, and it has cause them a lot of stress at work. Thankfully most of the the folks they directly work with are understanding, but still.

I also don't really want to compete when it comes to my hobbies, and hobbies have a way of bringing out the comparison junkies and gatekeepers. They find out you're into something and they just want to tell you how awesome and expensive their stuff is. Your smoker will never be the right one, your RC plane/copter/car will never be the toppest of tiers, your audio setup will never allow you to experience that record like theirs (which means 'you haven't really heard it'), and your gaming PC has the wrong thermal paste applied in the wrong shape so you have never experienced performance like theirs.

It's really obnoxious and while I'm sure I've missed a couple decent conversations I know I've dodged a lot more unsolicited drivel by just keeping the hobbies I do to relax for fun to myself.

Who are these tools? I simply cannot imagine other people trying to 'big note' themselves like that!

Is it a cultural thing specific to where you live?

I live in Arizona, so maybe - but I'm not sure! All the above examples (except the RC thing, that was not me) were co-workers. For the smoker I overheard a guy on a team across the aisle from mine talking about rubs for smoking ribs, and I chimed in - when he found out I use an electric smoker he scoffed and shifted the conversation to explaining to me what models he considered "real smokers." I was not left alone until someone else started mocking him for using a store bought and not having welded his own barrel smoker like player three. I took the opportunity to fade into the background at that point.

I should also mention it's not always aggressive, it seems to be I meet a lot of other guys where the hobby for them is all about the gear. Don't get me wrong, I love bells and whistles, but at some point I learned it's more about what works for me and gives the results I want.

Not the person you asked, but I know exactly what they're talking about. It's less prevalent in in-person discussions, but man are hobby-oneuppers everywhere online. And it's exhausting.

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