I thought the on-boarding process where I work was good when I went through it. The important part was that I felt respected and that the company was excited to have me (despite it being large enough back then that about 10 to 15 were joining a week).
1. New hires start on Monday at the HR office. Take badge photos, get badges, given basic overview of company policy. Told that the company respects and trusts us, that our badge should open any door that does not have a safety reason to be restricted.
2. After orientation I found my manager waiting in the lobby. He told me how to get to our part of the campus.
3. My manager shows me to my cube. It has a computer in it with a sticky note with a temporary password. I log in, am able to open the SSO page and change the temporary password.
4. I'm given an introductory binder with answers to lots of questions, who works around me, what they do, what I will likely be doing soon, etc.
5. My manager suggests I start doing trainings (medical company, lots of trainings to meet certification standards), but says if I get tired do something else.
6. A bit later in the day a local tech person came and helped me run a magic script that got the developer tools setup and ran a build to make sure it was all good.
7. Proceed to get my first project and get started.
Overall the process was the minimum needed to make sure I got into the building and had what I needed.