I just wished that somebody patented the patent trolling business method, and used that against all the patent trolls...
Previous discussion: http://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=2759642
Perhaps you can only patent the method that you use to find the infringers? Maybe you can patent a seemingly-specific way of searching the web for potential infringers?
I have a poor understanding of what can and cannot be patented. It seems like everything can be patented, but then it needs to be defended in court if it's challenged.