I am also interested in how this will be solved since I don't think the status quo is sustainable.
Add to that a COVID crisis and uncertain economic times and this might get worse before it gets better.
Despite all of the incel talk, women aren't out there seeking the richest and handsomest men. They're looking for somebody to connect with, and feel safe with. A huge fraction of men fail to even try to connect with women as people, instead treating them as a commodity in a market. That makes them feel unsafe, because every woman has met at least one man who wants to take that commodity by force. They never know which one it is, and they have to treat all men that way until they know otherwise.
Be the guy who treats them as individuals, rather than goods, and you'll find that you rise up substantially from that bottom x%. That is the point where the incels totally lock themselves out the market they're so desperate to be in.
While nice in thought - the issue is that there's no way to connect this way on dating apps. You're on a dating app - you get 3s tops to make an impression. If someone finds you physically attractive then they'll continue to look at your profile and see if they find anything more physically attractive or emotionally attractive.
But this is essentially 4-5 photos and maybe 50 words you have to write for a very general audience to catch their attention. Dating apps are more about how well you can market what you have (or market what you don't have - I guess - it doesn't really matter. You just need to hook someone).
The real world is different. People will give you at least a few more seconds before moving on and being there in physical person is different than on an app. People actually exist as physical manifestations instead of as digital assets. This changes the way people interact.
Point of the parent was that online dating is extremely "economy" based and has a lot of market principles behind it. For the most part - women do go after the most desirable. Men do the same but are more liberal with their approach because they have to. Whereas women don't because they're less than a quarter of the online dating populace and thus are highly desired. You cannot deny the "economics" there.
Girl, you gotta love your man
Girl, you gotta love your man
Take him by the hand
Make him understand
The world on you depends
Our life will never end
Gotta love your man, yeah
Those peaceniks in the 60's got few things right with their free love trip. Imagine the misery the world could have been spared if Zuckerberg could have just got laid.
>> I think we're finding out now just how bad an idea destroying it was.
>>> In what way?
I do not wish to interrupt a pleasant conversation evolving in the replies, but think what people see as an attack on monogamy is really an attack on all human relations over the past 60 years. Parents send the kids to boot camp, kids send them to a "care home". Stressed out, underpaid teachers turn education into training for the test, students cheat and complain about their crap tutors. Bosses treat their workers as farm animals and employees see their bosses as inhuman tyrants. Everywhere extreme neoliberal individualism has atomised and alienated people from one-another. Monogamy (between any partners) is just one more casualty of this process. Divorce used to be a serious soul-searching matter. Now you can do it by SMS in your lunch break. Life partners who should love one another "In sickness and health" treat each other as economic ladders, emotional punch bags, and trophies. It's not that reification wasn't always in the air, read Jane Austen, but today that's often _all_ there is.
Monogamy in particular also leveled the playing field to some degree with dating so that you didn't get the "winner takes all" situation you have today. I think the both the death of monogamy and masculinity are the underlying causes of the "incel" phenomenon. The worst part about it is that many of the effected people push for neoliberal ideas harder because they've been brainwashed to think of them as the solution.
Because porn has been on the internet for far longer than the incel thing has been around.
> Reduce onlyfans, self-objectifying gamer girls, and other bait, and the problems will disappear.