A bit unrelated, but I was immediately reminded of a Marcus Brigstocke story from when (if?) he travelled to Svalbard.

> We had our safety briefing last night – all pretty obvious advice like "don't fall in the sea, it's cold". I wrote that one down.

> Barbara, our second skipper, is Dutch so the word for "if" is the same as "when". "When the boat catches fire" was not exactly reassuring and "when we turn over in a big wave" even less so.