You need a punch to your face -- reading books isn't going to help.
My advice to you: don't try to prepare. You'd have to kill and overcome the man you are now. You don't need to be Rambo. You can be the bloated corpse floating in the pond just as well. The universe won't care if you extended your life for a few measly years. Relax, watch some TV and drink some soda pop. Contine tuning out reality as you've been doing your whole life.