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I’d be careful with ev-psych explanations. It often reads as trying to find some rational sounding explanation for what are really just social norms. And these norms evolve: in my experiences in the free-for-all of app-enabled dating, attitudes run the gamut for both men and women… you’ll meet women looking for casual sex and men looking for an emotional connection.

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Yeah this is a fair flag and a risk with this kind of thinking I try to be cautious of. It can be hard to know what’s a cultural norm. Plus there’s always over-fitting and high variability within a group (always outliers and exceptions).

Still, I’ve so far found it to hold up a lot of the time even with apps and modernity. What people say and how they behave are different. People often add after the fact narratives and say one thing while doing something else.

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