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Comment by captainredbeard | Hacker News Reader

> We make it work and have sex a few times every month

That’s not very much at all. Some of us are daily+ kind of people (and yes we have hard jobs that make a lot of money, too). Hope your wife is satisfied with this arrangement.

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Having Sex more than once a week 15 years into a relationship with 3 kids running around is not alot? I bed to differ. I think for most that would be more than they are currently do.

Having sex daily is a young couple fantasy, and really at this point just waiting time.

Time is the one thing we dont have. If Im not feelin it, and the wife isn't feeling it. I'm not going to force it. And If I want it, and she dont. Rubbing one off out in my office quick after the kids are in bed is no big deal.

> If Im not feelin it, and the wife isn't feeling it. I'm not going to force it

That is a good approach. I'm just saying that my "feeling it" is daily+, and I've been married to the same woman for over 10 years now. Libido varies.

This isn't a judgement on your frequency, just contributing to the conversation so people have an accurate idea of sexuality distribution.

How many kids do you have?

I know someone - a relative of my wife - with 3 young kids that has sex (more or less) daily. She wasn’t bragging when she told me. To be fair, she has a smoking body. The other half, not so much.

My wife and I just have one 4 month old but we’re making an effort to have sex the days that we can. It’s not easy with a kid at this age! We maybe get one nap in the evening. After the baby goes to bed my wife usually needs to pump and get to sleep early enough so she gets enough before the baby wakes.

I guess it depends on the kids. Some of them cry more, involve more energy, wake up earlier. When going to bed you remember the morning pain and quickly evaluate the pleasure component. Moreover, both partners need to have equally high energy levels in order to do that, and this can be a challenge even in a relationship without kids. So respect to those who manage to do it daily with 3.

Oh, only their middle child is easy. The oldest and the youngest are both handfuls.

At some point I'm going to ask her for details. Maybe their sessions are pretty quick, for instance.

My oldest Child is in their teens.

And I do stuff with my kids every day.

Dad time is a everyday thing with my children.

Even if it is for only 20 minuets per child. Or hours.

Homework and spending time with family are very important for my kids.

Exactly! This is a personal preference thing but I don't think folks realize how often some of us _have to_ make love to maintain sanity. They are often quickies due to the kids but we both strive to make it happen because we like it so much.

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