Get yourself a personality, don't be weird, dress decently and talk to people. That's really all you need, no matter what you look like there's someone out there that's into it.
Don't overcomplicate simple things.
Don't get me wrong, your conclusion is spot on. Getting there is the hard part.
Another factor is we live in a period in time where we have so much choice on how to spend our time, products that are personalized to each of our own tastes, that creates sparsity of shared experiences.
No longer is there a movie like Star Wars, that you could throw a stick and find someone who shares that experience. Now unless you're suckling from the teat of mainstream media, you need to go out of your way to find someone who shares your taste in film, music, art, games and ideas.
I'm honestly surprised there hasn't been an experiment adding a social component to Netflix.
You may as well just be with yourself at that point. Someone else bringing new experiences that you don't share, to learn and involve yourself in going forward, is where interest is found.
So many men try all your advice and still struggle greatly.