This is a much abbreviated version of the story.
My father was diagnosed with Ampulla of vater carcinoma. It's a pretty rare cancer, most similar to pancreatic cancer. After the curative options had been exhausted (read: cancer returned after surgery), the oncologist started a regimen of abraxane and one other chemo agent (I'm blanking on the name right now). These of course come with their share of side effects, as they are "classic" chemo. Not to mention their efficacy is pretty terrible. But really at this point we needed more data. They had never sequenced the tumor. Many, many emails and calls later, the doctor finally agreed to order the sequencing. Till this day I don't know why there was so much resistance to this (also keep in mind, this wasn't some rural hospital, this was at Johns Hopkins). Some time goes by and we finally get the results. The results showed a brca mutation. This was of course excellent news, as the brca mutations are very widely studied due to their connection with breast cancer. After some research, it turned out parp inhibitors were the latest most effective treatment at the time, specifically Lynparza. Again, many emails and calls, until the oncologist agreed to prescribe it. And unlike the conventional chemo agents, this was taken orally and had few if any side effects. Months go by and the ct results come in - the tumors are shrinking! All in all my father remained in remission under the parp inhibitors for a little over a year, side effect and pain free (I can't stress that last part enough). Lynparza eventually stopped being effective (this is believed to occur due to the cancer mutating). We subsequently tried a clinical trial but in the end the battle was lost, and my father passed.
While the parp inhibitor wasn't a cure, my father, my family, and I, would not give up that extra year for the world. So the tldr is: don't just listen to the oncologist, get a second opinion, don't be afraid to read hundreds of medical papers, and definitely badger the oncologist if you have salient information.
Edit: typos