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Comment by kccqzy | Hacker News Reader

> we find that men, compared to women, more highly value same-sex friends who are physically formidable, possess high status, possess wealth, and afford access to potential mates. In contrast, women, compared to men, more highly value friends who provide emotional support, intimacy, and useful social information.

This is exactly my experience here. This is the reason why as a man, I instinctively find female friends more trustworthy. When I experience a problem in life, female friends help me a lot more than my male friends do.

The retention rate is also different. A lot more of the female friends I made earlier in my life remained as friends than male friends I made.

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>A lot more of the female friends I made earlier in my life remained as friends than male friends I made.

Most of the people I bet I could rely on happen to be women (met in writing/graphic design groups at university), but I wonder if these will last as I get older and people get into relationships.

It's less easy to hang out with a woman one-on-one without it seeming like a date (for a man who is heterosexual). It can also cause jealousy on either side to stay close after pairing up with a romantic partner.

I suppose it depends on how one defines a "friend" based on closeness. It's likely I'll keep in touch and maintain a friendly relationship with these people as we all grow older (as acquaintance-friends), though I doubt I'll ever reach the level of "close friends," for any woman besides a romantic partner.

Maybe I'm the odd one out, but I'm a male, and my male friendships are closer to the female ones. Me and my best friend are very close.

I’m a man and I’ve had close female friends basically my whole life. I have close male friends too, tho.

> physically formidable, possess high status, possess wealth,

Men tend to value skill more than any of the above claimed. Even if that skill is farting twice as hard or designing rockets or always looking fresh AF or too good at Elder scrolls or having an incredible lay up.

Is that really the motive? Or is it the desire of friends who are a reflection of who they are. We see men as a better judge of our ability and women as a better judge of our decency.

It will be interesting to see if this affects the famous "friend zone" https://quillette.com/2021/06/28/mate-selection-for-modernit...

Friends zone otherwise known as "she does not want to date me, but is polite to me, what a bi...

I find it interesting that many people try to invalidate the feeling of being friendzone. I find it as a natural biological reaction to not getting the relationship one wants.

That being said, I think the best way to deal with being friendzoned is to be honest about one's feelings and end the friendship. No use in being around people if it makes one bitter.

It is annoying. Because when I was single, into a guy friend who was not into me, the only sane reaction was to say to yourself "it sux move over". It was 100% not blaming him or acting like he has done something wrong. Anything else would be being crazy.

Friendzone is not something mean a girl do to you. It is her not wanting to date you. Don't pretend friendship if you are not actually interested in friendship.

Females prefer FEMALE friends with those traits.

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