But it also seems like the more educated and higher income, the more neurotic parents get over raising their kid (myself included). You try and optimize a demanding career AND offer your kid every opportunity to learn and engage.
My friends with 4 don’t do that. The kids get engagement from each other, so fine in public school and there is no expectation they’ll go to an Ivey League school.
Leaves more brain bandwidth and less stress.
In wealthy societies money is determinative for how many bullshit time sinks you have to suffer through in childhood.
For example: I almost failed Abitur, which is a requirement for university in Germany. (We very rarely have any admission tests for some reason.)
Given enough resources you can either add private schooling or arrange alternative pathways. You could get an equivalent (less time consuming) degree from a different country that will be acknowledged in Germany.
The no-money route would've cost two or three additional years of standard school stasis in my primes.
Anyway, my bland tl;dr: Money really does make a difference that is not all downside.
It also sounds like something that would have a lot of research behind it, so I'd be interested if anyone has data on it.
https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2021/11/does-havi...
There is happiness, satisfaction, stress, purpose … etc all which can be desirable in their own way and still conflict.
> When you ask people about their life’s meaning and purpose, parents say that their lives have more meaning than those of nonparents. A study by the social psychologist Roy Baumeister and his colleagues found that the more time people spent taking care of children, the more meaningful they said their life was—even though they reported that their life was no happier.