Same. I'm convinced OBEs are a form of dreaming, especially when comparing the techniques used for initiating wake-back-to-bed lucid dreaming (relaxing the body & mind, feeling vibrations, being amazed how "real" it is, etc).
...that space is calm for most people?
Being there is usually literally terrifying to me. Like whenever I finally come through to the awake side I'm drenched in sweat and crying on occasion.
Maybe get a sleep study.
It does, however, take ~9.5 hours to get the pillow to behave to tolerance.
As for terrifying? Well, there's always real life to look forward to, and terrifying is an appropriate reaction to that impending doom, but I hope this isn't an everyday for you. You could have a sleep disorder, night terrors, PTSD, neurology problem, etc.
Think about it, can 2 people's dream be synchronized from the perspective of each other? Because that's how a shared OBE feels.
Once you have some of these, you know these aren't dreams.