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Comment by ycuser2 | Hacker News Reader

10 years seems to be a good estimate how long it take to deal with extreme experiences.

In my experience it also was 10 years since I could handle similar situations. I have also heard this number from others often.

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I'm at 10 years now, pretty much to the week, although I would also say that it wasn't a linear progression from year 0 to now, as if you're gradually recovering from an illness. For every leap forward in my own process there were some major, major regressions, right up to 2018/2019.

I'm not sure I'd call this moving on. More like learning how to cope, and be more resilient. The closure, if any, was I have what I need with myself and I don't need to get it from the people who hurt me. So I'm happy, all things considered.

Basically sharing this to say that even if 10 years seems to average out, our path through it will likely be quite different.

I've come to the horrible realization that the trauma part of the brain runs on some sort of 10 year cycle. I'm not a doctor but it must be some sort of memory/function/process that the brain slowly modifies over the course of a decade before it decides to move it out of daily use to long term memory. There doesn't seem to be anything you can do to speed it up either.

Trauma gets locked into the body too, not just the brain.

EMDR therapy helps process trauma for some.

I too am resolving trauma from 10 years ago that I couldn't quite face

In some spiritual circles, the number is 10 as well. I'm now drawing up on 9, and oh boy.

10 years was my number as well.

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