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Comment by sp332 | Hacker News Reader

What is the pressure from exactly? She either hits the milestones "on time" or she doesn't. There's not much you can do about it at the time. My wife and I watch our daughter change and try to map changes to milestones, but we're just marveling and along for the ride.

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The pressure is from discerning whether we as parents are doing all we can and providing the right resources, environment, etc for her to reach milestones. For example, behind on nonverbal communications? Have we been gesturing enough, demonstrating enough? Are we doing wrong when we leave her in the pack and play for a bit while getting work done? It seems impossible to know.

What bad thing will happen if you don’t provide the right resources?

At the end of the day, you have to decide what a good life is and help the, achieve that. If you think a good life requires getting into the “right” school and the “right” job, etc., you may need to figure it out more before trying to get someone else’s life on track.

Sounds like you're worrying about it a lot. Kids can sense stress, they can also sense other emotions, just treat them with love and smile and laugh with them and don't worry if they are a "little behind". They will figure it out eventually. As others have said, kids, even within the same family, learn different stuff and different times and everything is OK.

I honestly think you've misunderstood. Your kid's brain is going to develop. The stuff you're talking about is just to get her some practice. Which is good! But she'll be able to pick up these skills at any later point once her brain is ready. Her brain isn't going to wait for you.

It's impossibly detailed: it's fine now but will you track her first kiss, first boyfriend, first heartbreak at 15 too ?

Just let it go, make her happy and loved but focus much more on your wife than your daughter: a divorce would have devastating effect on whatever milestone you think your daughter reached.

Hey man, it's going to be ok. Feed them, keep them safe, love them. Enjoy it. 10 years from now you'll look back on this and smile.

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