What kind of doctor do you go to with this? I’ve never gone to anyone other than my primary care doctor and the spectrum of titles mental health professionals have makes it all very confusing to me.
Once I had my initial diagnosis, the ADHD specialist pointed me at a bunch of resources. Learning more about ADHD made a massive difference right away—just reading other people's experiences helped clear some painful guilt and cognitive dissonance. He also referred me to a psychiatrist in case I wanted to try medication; I wasn't sure at first, but after doing a bunch of reading, decided to give it a go. The combination of learning, building new skills/habits and medication ended up making a massive change to my life, a lot more than I expected.
From what I've heard, people have very mixed experiences around ADHD with their primary care doctors or even general mental health specialists; I expect that finding somebody who actively specializes in ADHD can help avoid some of these. Going out-of-network was expensive (maybe $1500 or $2000 for initial consultations + follow-up appointments in the first year), but it made such a change that I'm sure it was a major win even in purely financial terms.