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Comment by rnoorda | Hacker News Reader

I've been thinking along similar lines, and one thing I keep coming back to is the danger of making online spaces your "third place." Spending time on TikTok, Facebook, Instagram, even HN, can be really dangerous when it's a third place and not just a way to interact occasionally.

I have also felt a decline in my "second place" (workplace) social connections since I've been working remotely for a long time. I get along with people I work with, but I don't go to lunch or talk at the water cooler, so it's not a social environment the way an office can be. Don't get me wrong, I love remote work, but for anyone already lacking social interaction, I can see that need for connection.

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Why do you think HN is a worse (more dangerous) third place than a local pub, bookstore, or Starbucks?

Not the parent.

I think it's the standard social media stuff - pseudo anonymity, lack of nuance or easy clarification, lack of private conversations meaning everything is exposed to the lowest common denominator.

Not saying HN is particularly bad as social media goes, but there is a big difference between having a chat at a bar where you adapt to your conversation partners and have a mutually interesting discussion while being mostly diplomatic, vs posting something for posterity where everyone that passes by can give a hot take or "what about", "source please", "explain what you mean by"...

Your comment is actually a (very benign) example - I don't mean offence, just saying that the gp put a comment out there and now it's available for anyone to come by and jump on, where the dynamic would be different in a pub convo

Strange times when asking a polite follow-up question is “jumping on”. To be honest, that seems like an equally reasonable/likely question to ask at a pub.

Physical locations don't let me participate in massive numbers of discussions at once- I engage more fully with one person/group of people. And on HN, I can spend hours and hours here without anyone likely noticing, while people would notice that I haven't left the coffee shop. And I would likely need to leave the coffee shop to get something done, while HN can be constantly on the side of my screen.

Physical locations also tend to force me to engage back- if you say something I disagree with, I may not speak up, but my reaction (or lack of reaction) communicates to some extent what I think. Online, I could be annoyed by you, or happy that you think like me, or seething mad, and no-one may ever know if I choose not to.

I don't think HN is generally worse than physical interaction, but it has the potential to be. Social environments often have some moderating influence on participants, through social customs, lack of anonymity, and better communication through body language, tone of voice, etc.

There's no direct interaction. It's just different to make a joke and see the other person smile, or make a mean comment and see the other person look offended. I think that's the reason why people are so much more likely to troll on the internet-- there's less of an emotional connection

HN isn’t going to check on you when you are sick or help you move or maybe offer a hug when you really really need one.

Overtime, making in person, physical connections with people can be crucial to your long term well being.

Likely because in essence everyone here could be gtp-4 for all we know.

This community wouldn’t fill any gap related to human suffering that real humans do.

> Third places are never snobby or pretentious, and are accepting of all types of individuals, from various different walks of life.

According to Oldenburg's criteria HN doesn't really fit.

By that definition neither was the church I grew up going to. You were judged from the second you walked through the door until well after you left.

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