Do you genuinely not see a difference between Bitcoin and a stock?

Stock is ownership of a company and entitlement to its profits. If you gamble on an unprofitable company with no assets, then sure, your stock could be worth very little. But even then, the company likely has cashflow or something in its financials that's valuable.

Companies selling stock are also analyzed to death and publish their audited financials.

Sure, if the company becomes insolvent, then the stocks will be backed by as little as Bitcoin, and more fixed in supply. Perhaps HODLers of crappy stocks should just forget about the whole revenue-generating business that was supposed to be behind them, and insist that they're a store of value